Step 1: Greet patient at work.

Step 2: Notice her really groovy accent and tell her ‘You have a great accent’.

Step 3: Ask her what part of Scotland she is from.

Step 4: When she gasps in horror and tells you she is definately NOT from Scotland, put your other foot in your mouth and ask if she is in fact from Ireland instead.

Step 5: Wish a big black hole will come to swallow you up when she informs you that she is in fact not Scottish, not Irish, but English. From Liverpool.

So there you go. How to offend a Liverpudlian in 5 short steps.